I Think I'm Officially Weird

Today is a gorgeous day. And gorgeous days mean about 200 people frolicking on the quad. I'm all for frolicking, but realistically these people bore me. Oh yea! Another game of frisbee or the tossing of a football between a patient boy and an inept girly girl who squeals everytime the ball comes towards her. What happened to when playing outside was less conventional and more imaginative? Just think about how interesting it would be to walk on the quad while people were playing spy games or pretending that they were magical mermaids (a game I dabbled in many a time). Sure we are supposed to grow up, but why does growing up mean sucking the fun out of everything? Let our maturity shine through in the imaginative nature of our games. Make up something complicated! Pretend to be neglected and abused prostitutes in the mid 19th century who are on the run from a diabolical pimp. One of you is pregnant, and escaping from London without a dime to your name and accompanied by a pregnant woman is a feat indeed, but it is accomplished through the kind gestures of sympathetic strangers. Woah! If I saw this being played on the quad, I would be excited and enthralled and possibly even stop to watch. Little mini-plays everywhere! What am I talking about!?!!
Let's switch topic to plastic surgery! I have come to a realization about this phenom which is indubitable. The purpose of these expensive, painful, and popular surgeries is to fix our flaws, yes? People have this surgery in order to be more comfortable with their appearance, so they don't feel so bad when they look in the mirror at their crooked nose or nonexistent lips (<-me). In reality though, all these surgeries do is prove how completely and utterly pointless your appearance truly is. If something can be altered so easily, then how is it in anyway significant? If the option of pumping my lips full of collagen or putting silicone sacks into my breasts is ever present, then having full lips and big breasts is not extraordinary at all. What is unique is being completely pleased with the you that you've got. I know I sound like a motivational speaker, but there is nothing special in being physically perfect anymore. I will admit, when you see a person of astounding and natural form you will appreciate their beauty, but everybody knows that nobody's perfect, or at least in a perfect world everybody would know that nobody's perfect. There shouldn't be some ultimate standard of beauty, and that seems to be the case these days. And what has this standard accomplished?? The transformation of women into "Be Barbie or nothing" and Men into perpetually metrosexual weirdos who treat everyday like they have a hot date and actually care about their hair and whether their clothes match. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for hygiene, and it's lovely and fun to dress up and primp, the population just needs to stop resorting to permanent methods of change or rather needs to stop caring so much in general. So what if your hair isn't perfect everyday! That's not what's important, and if it is...your priorities need to be rearranged to say the least. Having plastic surgery or applying layers of foundation and mascara shouldn't be what always makes you content. Rather, your happiness should be evoked from a compliment towards your personality. That is what is truly meaningful in this life. I am sure when I'm laying on my death bed, my final thoughts will not be "Good God I've looked so hideous my whole life" but instead "I'm fulfilled because of this aspect of my innerself" or unfulfilled, if my life happened to be unfortunate. I have faith that society will stop being so shallow.

Whores of all shapes and sizes and textures

Oyoooooooooooy haven't updated this in a while...and I'm under contractual obligations to do so....or so the publishing company in my dreams tell me!!! Gahhhhhh!!! I'm a loser. Anyway..the lengthy break was due to many unbearable pains caused by certain assholes. I love being stabbed in the back 3 times in a week by the same person. WE won't get into such bullshit though. I have more important things to talk about. How about this current burst of scary movies? Huh...HUHHHHH!!! Being the annoying conspiracy theorist I am, I have come up with an annoying conspiracy theory to explain this phenomenon. With all of this talk about our lovely govy scaring us into silent conformity, I can't help but wonder if their poison touch has grazed the film industry. I saw Sin City the other day..and every single preview was for a scary movie (with the exception of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy..which looks awesome!) Why? It's not Halloween..which is the standard time period for a plethora of horror flicks. These movies are pure shlock..and all remakes or sequels. There is no purpose for their creation. This is a stupid "I'm retarded and high" theory..but it's quite fucking bizarre. One of these movies has Paris Hilton in it. Whaaaaa??? That's all I have to say about that. I hate most movies anymore. It seems like a fat bastard shat them out and brushed the residue away and sent them to Jerry Bruckheimer. It's all epic battle films or slashers or fucking teen sex comedies. And all of the highly regarded films are fucking biopics or remakes of books. Don't get me wrong these movies are well made and enjoyable, but at the same time it's fucking annoying. Have an original thought somebody besides fucking Charlie Kaufman. I'm really partial to him..but jesus. What happened to when screenwriter's inspirations came from their own thoughts rather than only the lives of others or people's books or fucking comic books? I think working at Woelfel is making me mildly retarded. We have to say "We're conducting and important survey about shopping habits." This is a flat out lie. How can shopping habits in anyway be important? Then the tricky survey ends up being soley about fucking Ford vehicles. How misleading!!! The survey makes it seem like the fate of the world relies upon the divulging of your shopping habits, then turns into a greedy survey about Ford's performance. My fave is one for the AARP about Bushy's turning Social Security into private stocks. Once you have stated that you agree with his idea, you are slammed with a bunch of negative consequences of his doing so and "Would you still think that this was a good idea?" I didn't think surveys were supposed to change people's opinions, but rather find out their standing opinions in order to see where this country's beliefs lye. Such bullshit. We treat people like idiots. Do the companies who pay for these expensive ass surveys think people don't see through their blatant persuasive nature? We don't want your opinions, we want you to buy FORD. We don't care if you support Bush, he really is an idiot! We have the facts to prove it. Somebody pass me a needle so I can sew my lie spouting mouth closed....and get paid disability maybe...mwah.ha.